1. Be creepy
2. Be someone that I don’t remember from high school but accepted your friend request so I could try to figure out who you were
3. Without solicitation, send me information on the Weigh Down Workshop. For one thing, it is rude, as what you mean to say is really, “Wow, you’ve gotten fat!”. Also, I’m not particularly religious and am turned off by such things.
4. Be someone I knew in high school but was never friends with and, frankly, you were always bitchy or jerky to me.
5. Not ever even say “hi, so great to see you” and not ever communicate with me, and not ever have been someone I considered a friend in the first place.
6. Send me random Republican propaganda or anti-liberal stuff as though you assume that I am on your side of the political fence.
7. Write status updates about how awesome you are ALL THE TIME, e.g., “will be spending the day making peppermint bark and a variety of cookies for the USFJ baked goods auction and then I’m hoping to complete the walls for the boys room. Another productive day by yours truly, I rock!” or “2 hour karate practice followed by a 4 mile run in the rain tonight. I don’t really want to do any of it but must exercise discipline and commitment to reach my goals.” VOMIT.
8. Regularly write similarly obnoxious status updates like, “I wish everyone’s marriage could be as wonderful and as fun as mine!” More vomit.
9. Use FB to push your wares. No, I do not want to attend your Silpata Party.
(What can I say? I’m in pare-down mode. I had more than 400 “friends” on FB and realized how ridiculous that was, since I probably only consider 100 of them actual friends. Hrmph.)
This is why I limit my FB statuses to read drivel such as:
Why yes, that *is* a glob of melted green crayon on my khakis. So good of you to notice.
or
You know, you’d think with all the extra padding that sitting on the wooden bench at Barnes and Noble would be more comfortable. Well, you would be wrong.
Harmless stuff. Also, please don’t break up with me. I’m on a Scrabble winning streak. I need you.
Also, that last bit was sarcastic. In case you want to defriend me b/c I am winning at the Scrabbles.
I’m not on Facebook, but I’ve looked at the pages of some of my old high school classmates and it cracks me up to see that they’ve all friended each other, even though they never even spoke back then. I mean, bygones, sure, but if they spent four years actively hating each other, I don’t really see the point of keeping in touch now.
I won’t miss out on the “I Am Awesome and So Is My Awesome Family” reports, however, as Christmas newsletters are winging their way to me right now. I can’t wait to find out how many kids are taking both Honors Math and Honors English classes! It’s so relevant to my interests.
I just assume that anyone who posts an update about their wonderful relationship/significant other either just had a big fight or is heading toward a breakup.
I wrote something similar to this recently! My FB pet peeves include people who update too often, people who update with crap no one cares about, people who brag, and people who type out Bible verses and explain how each one saves them from “Satan’s lies.” Seriously, I de-friended someone for doing that.
I’ve only unfriended two people so far: my gross, soon-to-be-ex sister in law, and some guy who I assumed I knew and just forgot about, but turns out I didn’t know at all (we just went to the same college). Luckily I haven’t encountered most of the stuff you have, but now I kind of wish I had. I love a good de-friending, and I’m fascinated by shallow weirdos.
I rarely send a friend request to anyone, but when I do, I usually include a note in case they need their memory jogged. I’m shocked at how may “blasts from the past” send me friend requests with no note whatsoever. Nada. I think that’s VERY odd. But nonetheless, I usually accept just to see what a freakshow they’ve become, because I’m a jerk like that.
Is it bad that I’m sitting here laughing because I know who it is annoying you with all the workout, I’m so amazing stuff?
You forgot the commitment-phobe ex boyfriends who look like Niles from Frazier and that have married and adopted little black kids from Nigeria.
Or is that just me?
I’ve never de-friended anyone, but then again I rarely even go on Facebook, and I’m sure I’ve pissed a few people off by not responding to their updates. There’s all kinds of new social etiquette nowadays with new technology.
I recently did that too….cause why are we friends now if we never were before? And I am super guilty of accepting friend requests just to snoop on people I havent seen in years
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