First, I must say thank you to everyone for weighing in on the Great Cell Phone Washing Incident of ’07. Ha. Y’all are awesome for taking it so seriously, even though Rob and I were already laughing over it by the time your votes came in.
I hope everyone had a lovely Memorial Day weekend. Mine was not bad, and I got a lot of reading and relaxing done.
So, I am trying not to write much about work, lest I get discovered, but…I really have to discuss someone with y’all, who I have nicknamed Uber Hipster. He’s the only guy in the office and he does things like wear Converse sneakers that match his tie and refer to them as Chuck Taylors (because God knows hipsters can’t just call them Converse). (Incidentally, he changes into dress shoes when he has interviews and whatnot.)
Anyway, so the guy is straight. That much is clear. However, I am TOTALLY perplexed by him, because I have never seen a straight guy act like this. Behold the following pictorial evidence of my confusion:
This, my friends, is Exhibit A. It is meant to be a closet that holds the coats of everyone in the office. Instead, what you see is no fewer than 4 suit jackets in varying shades/patterns of grey and one button-up shirt. You know, because it’s much better to arrive at work in an ironic t-shirt with your dress pants and change into your suit shirt & jacket only for meetings.
Behold, Exhibit B. A crappy picture, but a picture nonetheless. What can I say? My cell phone’s photographic capabilities are somewhat lacking. What you see here is the collection of dress shoes underneath UberHipster’s desk – with each shoe lovingly protected by a cedar shoehorn.
Lastly, Exhibit C. The sunglasses, which UberHipster proclaimed “hot”.
See where I’m going with this?
Perhaps my confusion comes merely from the fact that Rob is about as metrosexual as…well…um, somebody totally non-metrosexual. The only name that comes to mind is Jeff Foxworthy but my husband is NOT remotely like Jeff Foxworthy and I cannot believe I thought of him in association with the Hubbo. Ack! Must go vomit now at the thought of sharing a marital bed with the likes of Jeff Foxworthy. Excuse me.
I can’t really weigh in on this one, as there is no one even remotely like this in our office. Really, the closest we have is the odd combo man of fancy schmancy and rugged outdoorsman. He is a big time hunter and fisherman, but says “Yuck” to the idea of someone dining somewhere as plain as Applebees.
Just to offer a teensy justification for him, I have been calling my converse “Chucks” for the entirety of my life. Actually, most southerners that I know refer to them as such. Is there any way he or his parents grew up south of the Mason-Dixon?
Aside from that, I’m baffled.
The exMrStapler claimed to be straight, and these are all types of behavior he would exhibit.
He seems to be working very hard to keep up his “image.” Laaame.
If you have to try that hard to be cool, THEN YOU ARE NOT COOL. And those sunglasses are horrible.
Maybe he is homeless, and that’s why he keeps all his stuff in the office? Or maybe he is pretending to his roommates that he is poor and can’t afford to pay the rent because he is unemployed, so he has to leave all his nice stuff in the office and dress poorly on his way to work? Or maybe this is getting too farfetched even for me?
Sunglasses – terrible. And now I am at a loss for words. They fail me.
Hey, 3carnations, I think we must work in the same office!
Recently my son bought me a pair of hot pink Chuck Taylors and made me throw away my white velcro-fastening smeakers. I love them! (The Chucks)
The sunglasses….*shades* of Elton John??? He didn’t even realize he was gay for YEARS!
Oh he’s gay. Someone should tell him.
I have to admit… I currently have 4 (4!)different pairs of shoes at my desk because I wear my flops to my office everyday. I change into one of the aforementioned pairs of heels whenever I have to stand and walk throughout the office.
In my defense, I don’t have the cedar inserts. Nonetheless, the shoe collection is becoming borderline absurd.
Cedar shoe horns. Hmmm… How very metro.
You need to ask UberHipster this question:
I know you’re straight, but is your boyfriend straight too?
PS: I got here via Indie Bloggers’ “The Arbitrarian”
OK, I don’t see what the problem is. I would embrace his metrosexuality if I were you. Go on, hug the metrosexual. Air kiss the metrosexual (pretend you’re European). Borrow his lip moisturizer. Seriously, this is most handsome in a man! Better an organized officemate than, well, me.
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